It's getting close to that time of year.. where love is in the air and horny husbands are hoping to get laid via chocolates, flowers, and maybe a nice dinner out.
What? You're traveling? Lucky you! Well then, it sounds like you may be in for a weekend of creative debauchery, so let's plan!
First, if you are traveling by car or train, you're pretty safe. It's the folk traveling to their love destination by plane who need to listen up and pay heed to my embarrassing travel mishaps so they don't repeat them.
1) Store you fun items in a make-up travel bag. Most ladies have a ton of these from over the years--either as gifts, freebies from department stores, or for personal use. Some things to keep in mind: the bag should not be made of clear or tinted plastic so that the naughty items inside are not visible. Make sure the bag is large enough and the zipper closes easy.
Sounds like a no-brainer, right? You may one day be traveling with your kids and it would not do if items were sticking out or visible to any curious eyes.
2) If the lube is not travel safe, meaning a tight lid, put it in a zip lock baggie. Trust me on this, lube leaking out of the zippered cosmetic bag into your luggage is really messy. And yes, I'm speaking from experience. That silicone based stuff does not wash out easily from material in a sink, and it stains luggage (even make-up bags) permanently.
3) Take all batteries out of battery operated devices and store them in a baggie in another section of your luggage. Please, read that last line again. I cannot stress this enough. If the device in question happens to have a cord leading from the battery pack to the fun part.... well... it apparently looks like a possible bomb and your bags WILL be searched.
Even if there is a happy little Disney luggage tag proclaiming you to be going to the land of Mickey you will not be spared. Oh, and when your luggage shows up with the rest of the family's you will have big yellow tape encircling your bag, proclaiming to everyone waiting for the Magical bus that it has been searched by security.
And while yes, it might be a great time to explain to your children the necessary security precautions every traveler must undergo, I say if you can avoid it by removing some batteries ahead of time, then you should do so. To be on the safe side, even if your little fun device doesn't have a cord you should still remove the batteries. I do, just to be safe.
4) Bring a small bottle of toy cleaner with you so incase your bags do get searched you can clean the items thoroughly and try your best to block out the fact that guards have laughed at your toys and/or handled them with latex gloves. Hey, the way I look at it is this: I'm getting laid so I could give two shits what they think... or at least that's what I've convinced myself by the third drink when I'm trying to drown my humiliation of strangers pawing through my belongings.
5) Pack small items. A romantic trip is the perfect time to bring lube, a silver bullet vibrator, massage oil, a small anal plug, a vibrating cock ring, and maybe a blindfold, but it is not the time to bring anything requiring a strap or is larger than three inches long. Toys on a getaway weekend are supposed to be a romantic enhancement not a substitute for your partner.
6) Don't forget the negligee. Sure, he knows what your bits all looks like, and yes, you might wind up taking it off in five minutes, but wearing one sets a mood and gives out a sexy vibe--two things that should never be overlooked. You'd rather see him in snug silk boxer briefs than ratty sweatpants, right? Same goes for him. And I don't know about you, but ratty clothes to bed sends a clear message of "I'm not interested", which is so not the vibe we want on a romantic getaway.
7) Bring a travel candle -- which is a candle in metal tin with a metal lid. Maybe two inches across in size, and two inches tall. Scented ones are nice, but not needed, so pick what you like. You may prefer to just crack the bathroom door with the light on, but everyone, trust me, everyone, looks better in candlelight. And you can chat to get you in the mood while you eyes adjust to the dim light. Win/win in my book. I look better and I get some verbal communication to relax and bring me into the moment.
Choose wisely, my lovelies! And if you have tiny vibrating gadgets that don't have long cords leading to a battery pack, bring those, you'll be glad you did.
Get your sexy on -- go forth and celebrate love! Wherever you may be on the 14th.
~C.J.
And now, a few gifts from the Everything Erotic team of authors --
If you have a Kindle, our very first issue, compiling blog posts from way back in 2010 will be free from February 9-11th. Currently there are five books offered, with our six title going up this week. You can find it by following this URL link or copying and pasting it into your browser:
http://www.amazon.com/Everything-Erotic-Sexy-Anthology-ebook/dp/B0047DWCD4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1287341736&sr=1-2
And if you 'd like some other free ebooks (for all eReaders, not just Kindles), even non-erotcia ones, then please check out this new website. They're dedicated to matching up interested readers with free ebooks directly from the authors:
http://www.redhotreaders.com/index
~~ C.J. Ellisson ~~
Guest Speaker at Vamps at Sea – A vampire themed cruise to Alaska 6.23.2012
Great site! and great job guys! Keep it up, the net needs more places like this :-)
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